Oh, where to begin? How in the world did I find myself in our guest bathroom last night delivering our third child?
Warning: This telling is a bit long, so I’m putting it under one of those “read more” thingies. That, and it tells the tale of giving birth to a child, which some of you may not want to read (I don’t get too graphic). So, there you go.
It all started earlier yesterday…(dreamy music and wibbly-wobbly flash-backy type effects)
Tuesday started like any other normal day here at Helm’s Deep. Coffee was made and consumed; children were fed and entertained; projects were started and completed. Stacie decided to tackle the girls’ room while I worked on the huge pile(s) of laundry that had begun to overtake the Deep. Throughout the day, Stacie was having some fairly decent contractions, but nothing consistent, so we continued on with our plan to head to Luke and Janell’s house that evening for our bi-weekly Life Group.
At about 5:00, 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave, Stacie began to have some more painful contractions, about 7+ minutes apart. She decided she still wanted to try and go, so we loaded up the van (myself, Stacie, Arwen, Greer, and my mum) to head about 25 minutes south. Right as we were getting ready to leave, Stacie had what I would call “a GOOD ONE.” Still, she insisted to soldier on. After all, there was going to be spaghetti there, and we had made up a Summertime Banana Cake with Orange Frosting.
Throughout the course of the 25-minute commute, the contractions started to get more intense and frequent, about 4-7 minutes apart.
When we arrived at Luke and Janell’s, Stacie looked over at me and said, “I don’t know how long we’re going to be here.” I asked her if we should turn around and head back, but she thought we were ok, so in to the house we went. The contractions slowed down just a bit, but were still pretty intense. We made arrangements with our friend Taryn to take the girls and my mom home in the event we had to leave suddenly. Let’s just say we’re glad we did.
At around 6:40, Stacie had a BIG ONE while getting ready to dish herself up some spaghetti. This was unfortunate, as Stacie really wanted to eat some of that spaghetti. More so, she no longer desired to be pregnant, as we had already reached the 41+ week point, and we were “done with this nonsense,” as she likes to say. I asked her if she wanted us to leave and head to the birthing center. At that moment, she could only nod her head.
With the precision of a championship pit crew, Luke and I ran outside and transferred the car seats from our van to Taryn’s. Stacie and I jumped into the van…well…actually, I gently placed Stacie into her seat, and then I slid over the hood, Dukes of Hazzard style, and slid into my seat in one smooth motion. Ok, that didn’t happen either.
Anyway, we got into the van, and started to head back north so we could swing by the house, pick up a couple of important things (some snacks, the camera) as we already had the “birthing bag” with us.
Now if you have never had the pleasure of driving north in Seattle traffic during rush hour (which lasts from about 2:30-7:30), you are so missing out on one of the most stressful, frustrating things you can ever do to yourself. Then, go ahead and add your wife sitting beside you having very severe and vocal contractions that are now happening at about 4-minute intervals. Fun times.
After a far-too-lengthy driving montage, cut to The Flaked Golden Painted Beast pulling into the driveway at Helm’s Deep.
I exit the van while the garage door is opening, grab the little one’s car seat, toss it into the back, ease my wife through yet another very strong contraction, and leave her while I run into the house to grab the important stuff previously mentioned.
After only 3 minutes, I’m back down at the van, important stuff in tow. Stacie is no longer in the passenger seat where I left her. She is now in the back of the van on all fours, working through another contraction.
Crap. They’re really moving along now.
I help her out of the van, and she tells me she’d like to try and go to the bathroom before we had up to the birthing center, which is at least 20 minutes away. I ask her if she’s sure.
NOTE: If your pregnant wife tells you she has to go to the restroom, she does. Don’t ask her if she’s sure. Just help her up the steps and get her into the bathroom.
So, up the long steps we go, then up a few more into the guest bathroom. I run downstairs really quick when her wail stops me in my tracks. Back up the stairs I bound.
“I’m going to sit here with you while you go.”
“Ok. Ok. Ok.”
“I’m feeling pushy.”
(ANOTHER NOTE: This is exactly what she said just before both of our other girls were born. Holy freaking crap! But instead of that, I say…)
“I don’t know what I’m pushing.”
OMFGFWOBOFWBOBFOBWOIBCISBHICBHIWBCHIB. But instead of that, I say…
She reaches down…
She stands up to a squat, and just like that, the baby is out.
Less than a push.
There’s a baby in our hands.
It’s a girl.
“Who should I call? The midwife or 911”
“The midwife. The midwife. NO! 911!”
“Get a towel to wrap her in.”
Runs to get towel while calling 911
“911. What is the nature of your emergency?”
And within moments, the EMTs are there, checking Stacie and Storie over.
Everyone is fine. Storie’s color is perfectly pink. Stacie is perfectly calm.
Sure, I’m in A-fib, D-fib, L-fib, and a myriad of other fibs that heart doctors have never heard of. But my girls are ok. And that’s what matters.
The midwife makes it there within 15 minutes and takes over. Storie and Stacie settle in to feed. Everyone is great.
So, what did you guys do last night?
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- therewritingprocess likes this
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- ladyofleisuredc said: Your wife? A trooper. No way would I have gone out if my contractions were 7, SEVEN minutes apart and I was over 40 weeks. No way.
- ladyofleisuredc likes this
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- emilyvianc said: That is insane!! Oh my gosh! I’m so happy y’all are finally done waiting, though! And how many people get to say they helped deliver their child in their guest bathroom?!
- asheroo likes this
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- baffledinbrooklyn said: TLOTH and I both feel this is highly awesome. what’s a life group?
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- shovelbum likes this
- shovelbum said: that’s freaking incredible!! Good job, you two! Congratulations again, she’s beautiful and I’m glad everyone is doing great.
- yellowonesdontstop likes this
- palmtreepalmtree likes this
- palmtreepalmtree said: Wow. You two are total champions. I’m so happy for you! Grinning from ear to ear.
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- glitterbubbles said: ugh, I am genuinely in tears, I love you and this story and your family and everything about this. I am hugging you from here. ALL THE HUGS! xoxoxoxoxo
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- bakewithavengeance said: AMAZING.
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