I thought it might be a good idea to go ahead and draft out our current campaign platform for everyone to review. We feel as if our candidates for POTUS and VPOTUS are clearly the right women/toddlers for the job. Here are some of the issues we are currently fighting for:
- First and foremost, Big Bird stays. Any attempt to get rid of Big Bird, Sesame Street, or any PBS funding, or any sort of educational funding, will be met with swift action.
- We want more positive female role models and protagonists in media. No more Honey Boo-Boo, no more Jersey Shore, no more Bellas from Twilight.
- We don’t really like “Hail to the Chief.” The “Star Wars Main Theme” is perfectly fine (that one might be our Dads’ idea). A song from “The Backyardigans” or the Sesame Street theme are also good.
- We are pro-nap. We are much better at leading the country when we are well-rested, and much less prone to a temper tantrum that might lead to us bombing Iran.
- Although Vice Presidential Candidate Arwen has been pro-walking for sometime, Presidential Candidate Chloe’s stance has recently changed to pro-walking as well. This is not a flip-flop, merely a natural evolution of her position on this matter.
- Women deserve to make as much as men. Especially the women who feed us and play with us. They are awesome.
- No child is too young to be introduced to Star Wars themed toys.
We would also like to announce that Chloe’s Aunt Valerie has offered to be our official legal counsel.
Finally, never forget the most important thing, and the thing that makes us feel like we are the BEST candidates for the job:
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